This is a guest post by Allan Douglas of Simple Life Prattle.
The world is a complex place.
People are complex creatures. One person dealing with the world can be stressful, start adding other people and the stress level increases exponentially.
How do we reduce the stress that interaction with other people – especially people that matter a lot to us – can bring?
The title of this article has a two-fold meaning: Golden is both the solution and the payoff.
The Solution
The solution is a bit of wisdom you’ve probably heard your whole life; but may not have paid much attention to because it’s so simple: The Golden Rule.
Original text: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Modern version: “Treat others the way you want them to treat you.”
This is not psychologically deep, you do not need to study under a guru to grasp the meaning. If you want others to treat you with kindness and respect, you extend kindness and respect to others – even when your natural inclination is otherwise.
Think before you speak, bite your tongue if what is about to spill over your lips is laden with hurtful words. This is to be practiced when speaking directly to another and when speaking about another to a third party. The more important the topical person is, the more important it is not to hurt them with careless words.
This is not the human nature.
We thrive on negativity and making ourselves superior to others. But with practice we can learn to reign in our tongue. With enough practice we can learn to change our thinking; to actually become kinder, more respectful people.
The Pay-off
The pay-off is that when we consistently treat others as though they have value to us, they in turn will tend to repay the kindness. That is golden. Some take longer. A few will feel threatened by your attitude and be cynical for quite some time, but nearly all will come around if you persist. Consistency is the key to success.
Here are some articles I’ve written that go into more detail if you care to pursue it:
- Pride & Prejudice in Family Communications is a humorous example of having put this lesson into practice.
- Opinions Are Like Bellybuttons explores how and why we form opinions, and why the opinions of others may be just as valid as our own. Eye opening, but only medium deep.
- Thou Shalt not Whine: the Eleventh Commandment takes a look at why we are negative and what we can do about it. This one is deep.
Douglas has been an author, writer, and prattler since the 1970′s. Published mostly in magazines but has three books to date. He pursues the simple life on a mountainside in East Tennessee with his wonderful wife, a genius border collie and a Prima donna hound dog who is queen of the mountain. http://www.SimpleLifePrattle.com
* Photo Credit: by VinothChandar
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I aways thought that being honest meant saying everything to my spouse that came into my head. After years of arguing I have come to realize that it isn’t worth saying if there isn’t a possibility of a change in behavior if not the criticism is just to inflict hurt.
Saying everything is one way to reach your relationship goals. There might be a way that’s more effective with your spouse. Criticism is not the preferable option for sure.